Dear Chai Poh,
it's been a while but you know that you have always been on mommy's and daddy's mind.
though we say goodbye to you with a very heavy heart, your presence had been so important.
today mommy wants to share something joyous with you.
mommy and daddy are having another child.
it scares and excites mommy at the same time when I think about pregnancy once again.
i kept on thinking about you and how similar or different you are with this sibling.
we hope your sibling will be a healthy and chubby one.
it's still abit too fast for us to comment but I am having jitters about tomorrow's scan.
tomorrow is my 8th week scan. I remember that was the time mommy and daddy lost you to heaven.
we wonder if we can see a heartbeat tomorrow, would you share your blessings with us?
we wonder if you have moved on to your next stage of life.
but no matter where you are, keep mommy and daddy blessings with you.
we wish you are a healthy and chubby one in future.
Mommy.
Ending note:
I wrote this when I was 8 weeks pregnant with Baby OOPS in 2018. It is dedicated to our first child who had been in our lives for 8 weeks in 2017 before departing. Many times, it is so difficult to talk about him/her to people around me because it's either they are not comfortable to talk about it or there's no platform to do so. Sometimes, I wish to let people around me to know how much we miss our little one. I wished people could acknowledged that he/she had existed before.
This miscarriage had definitely shifted my world view towards life and babies. I can totally understand why the word "precious" is always used with babies. They are indeed precious. And I wish I could gift any baby which I know with whatever little I can provide.
And to anyone out there who had also experienced a loss, I can totally understand if you experienced similar anxieties as me when you have your second one. I remember having a tough time falling asleep on the night before my 8th week scan. That fear is real. If you would like to share your experience with me, I will be more than ready to listen.
P.S. Chai Poh was my nickname for my first child. It means preserved radish!
Regards,
Mrs OOPS
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