#throwback : My First Trimester With Baby OOPS

Time flies when there is a baby evolving inside my tummy! Technically this is my second pregnancy as I had a silent miscarriage with my first one. I am so exhausted by pregnancy to the extent that I decided to abandon blogging for a good period of time so as to focus on my own mental well-being. This sacrifice is definitely worthy!

Interestingly, each trimester, I meet different challenges that really brings out a different side of me. I decided to share my first hand experiences with fellow mummies who are currently going through the physical, mental and emotional changes that comes about with pregnancy.

1) Securing the heartbeat

During my first trimester, I remember being in fear and discomfort almost on a daily basis. These fears are intensified due to my past experience of having a "silent miscarriage" about a year ago. The loss of a child's heartbeat during the first trimester is a common issue because it happened 1 out of every 4 pregnancies. The pain of not seeing any signs of heartbeat during an ultrasound scan had been etched in me. As I count down to the 8th week of this second pregnancy, I remember having nightmares about our baby losing heartbeat. When I finally hear the strong heartbeat of our second child, I can't help but to tear. Thank you for being alive, my little one!

2) Reduce risks of miscarriage with progesterone

Now that I'm assured of a strong heartbeat, I was recommended by my gynae to look at increasing the amount of progesterone in my body, especially due to my history of a miscarriage. Progesterone is an important element to help increase the uterus lining and maintain the fertilized egg thus reducing chances of a miscarriage. I was given progesterone in 2 forms - oral pills and injections. So besides just eating folic acid, I started taking progesterone pills and going for those jabs twice a week for 8 weeks. We spent about $50 on one dosage of medication and an additional $28 on injection fees (per shot). I remember telling Mr OOPS,"Wow, no wonder people say it's expensive to have children in Singapore." Then again, to ensure the safety of our precious one, the amount which we are spending is really secondary.

3) Loss of appetite and weight

We always hear about how we need to eat double since we now have a little human being growing within us. But eating is not easy during the first trimester. I have fears about puking out my food because in my first pregnancy, I puked out almost every single meal I eaten. I can sense myself being very resistant towards eating because I was worried it may trigger another puke. Thankfully for this pregnancy, I am more careful by making sure I take small meals and stop eating the moment I do not feel like it. I remember losing a total of 3kg and wondering everyday if I am providing enough nutrients to our little baby. The regular fortnightly visits to the doctor will assure me that our little one is fine. So do throw out that myth about eating double!

4) Heightened sensitivity to smell and fatigue

Is there ever a time whereby you step into a closed compound and you can already smell whatever that's in the room? With the pregnancy hormones raging, I felt super sensitive to every single type of scent/aroma/stench. It may get so bad to the extent that the smell triggers a puke or I would be giddy. On top of that, the amount of fatigue experienced is unimaginable. Besides sleeping whenever I have the opportunity to do so, I basically do not have much memories about my first trimester. With the little baby developing important organs such as heart, brain, spinal cord and other sensory organs, it definitely zapped away whatever remaining energy I have left.

5) To share or not to share the joy?

Usually people wait till the end of first trimester before sharing the joys of pregnancy. By Chinese traditions, it is said that an early revelation would lead to a miscarriage so its unlucky to do so. Afterwhich in the event that a miscarriage does happen, this early revelation will guilt trip the parent. It was even more disappointing when the adults around me avoid talking about the miscarriage after the operation. It was as if that child did not exist. I highly disagree with this way of managing because I understand the science behind a miscarriage and I felt that this way of "not-talking-about-it" creates more pain for the mummy. The rate of miscarriage is at its peak during the first trimester due to various reasons such as chromosomes incompatibility, uterus abnormalities, placement of the fertilised egg etc.  Dealing with the physical changes of pregnancy is already tiring enough. It is much worse when we are unable to offload our mental stressors to anyone because it is a hush-hush secret. Personally, I find it helpful and important to share this great news to the close family members and friends around me. It is especially important to inform fellow workers... so that they understand why I may be dozing off while working.

6) My Invisible Need

I think it's almost crazy to say that first trimester was one of the toughest period. Besides all the above issues that I typed, the most crazy thing about it is... barely anyone around you can tell you are pregnant, unless you tell them. There won't be much weight gain and you might even lose weight. The amount of fatigue and fear of puking each time I eat that comes due to the pregnancy hormones is overwhelming. For first time Daddy like Mr OOPS, he spent a good amount of time before realizing how tired I really am because from the physical outlook, there is really no hint of tiredness.

I have just reached 37 weeks of pregnancy... and I hope to share more of my pregnancy journey along the way!

Till then,

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