What Happens When It's 2 Weeks To Your Wedding Day?

It's about 2 more weeks to the day whereby we will be officially married. As much as we thought we had did a good job in preparing for our day, we still get the same challenges which every couple (or some say bride) will get.

GIF from giphy.com

Yes, it is so true to say that with each nearing day, the stress also starts building up. It also struck me that the toughest part of planning a wedding is not about the wedding itself, but rather managing the expectations between what our families want versus what we want versus what is actually realistically achievable.

So I will be sharing some of the biggest challenges couples will get when the date draws nearer. I bet you will go through at least one of these.

1) Worrying about your total number of guests
-If you want to know how it feels like when it comes to inviting your guests, well, just imagine yourself staring at a stock market chart that fluctuates greatly every single day. Almost every day, there will be people coming in or people dropping out. Sometimes when too many are coming at the same time, I panic. When too little people are coming, I also panic. Isn't that tiring?

My self-proclaimed strategy: 
-When guests confirm their attendance, thank them, note it down and remind them.
-When guests are not confirmed about their attendance, give them some time to confirm. Afterwhich inform them that you have to assume they are not coming and apologize for any inconvenience.
-When guests confirm their attendance but last minute cannot make it due to various reasons, thank them for letting you know earlier and make adjustments to the seating arrangements asap.

2) Seating arrangements (especially if you are doing a banquet seating)
-This is actually stressing me up more than I can imagine. The magic number to minimize losses is always 10. But somehow, we can't always fit 10 into one table.
-It makes things worse when you know that every empty seat is going to make you "suffer a loss"!!

My self-proclaimed strategy :
-Start hypnotizing yourself... "If there isn't a perfect 10, then let it go." :) 
-Put it simply, we can't please everyone. Split your friends up into groups of 4s or 6s and place them into the table seating accordingly. It's not the most ideal method but it's the second best.
-Do not entertain questions or requests from friends or relatives about who they prefer to sit who. Just say 'I will do my best to arrange and I hope you accept my arrangements.'

3) Handling multiple questions from EVERYONE about your wedding preparation (and their comments about how you should go about with it)
-Actually this is kinda a nice and sweet gesture by our friends and family. In fact, I do the same everytime I meet my going-to-get-married friends too. Everyone seems interested and wants to be of some help for us. It's deeply appreciated.
-However, now that I'm being put into this shoe, I start to feel the down side of it all! When every single person we meet only talk to us about wedding preparation, it will start to feel very frustrating. Especially when 'things are still not getting done yet'. It makes you wonder 'Why do I feel like I need to answer to everybody when it's my big day!?!?'

My self proclaimed strategy:
-When I'm feeling relax and comfortable to share, I will share. I can't deny sometimes sharing makes me feel better.
-When I'm feeling frustrated, I just smile and wave and try to change topic. Don't feel obligated to explain, unless if its really required.

4) Abilities and commitments of your wedding helpers
-Every human has their own strengths and weaknesses. The same applies to your wedding helpers. Please, and always, keep in mind that they are only just your friends and not wedding vendors (aka paid services) that you have engaged. Pay careful attention not to overload the groomsmen or sisters with tasks which are out of their limits. Knowing them well enough will help you to assign and allocate them roles accordingly.
-Be involved in the planning with your wedding helpers. They have no clue what kind of ideal wedding you have in your brain.

My self proclaimed strategy:
-Think through the logistics and feasibility of your ideal wedding plan and ask yourself, is it troublesome? Is it time consuming? If it's all a yes, it's either you change your plans or pray your helpers are very very free. P.S. They are usually caught up with their own commitments too.
-Do your site reccee and draft up the actual day schedule before meeting your wedding helpers
-If your wedding helpers do not know each other, try to plan for a gathering to break some ice, preferably over some food or games.
-On the actual day, trust that your wedding helpers will manage and handle all the last minute situations. Relax and be a happy bride and groom.
-Get very very reliable wedding helpers to handle sensitive items such as your gold and money.

5) Little strictly-dating-time with the partner
-Fact: As the date gets nearer, almost meet up that is arranged is wedding related. Looking at my scheduler 3 weeks from wedding date, I have days set aside for the following... (Not in chronological order)

  • final gown fitting
  • make up trial
  • gowns collection
  • tying of wedding car
  • av testing
  • dye my hair
  • meet bridesmaids
  • wedding manicure and pedicure
  • bridal facial
  • going to ROM to collect the cert
  • attending a marriage preparation course
  • Guo Da Li
  • distribution of wedding cakes (xibing)
  • An Chuang (setting of the bed)
-With all these events packed in the scheduler, it is expected that during the last 2-3 weeks, every conversation that you have with your partner will be on wedding preparation rather than marriage preparation.

My self-proclaimed strategy:

-Purposely and intentionally set time for dating. It could be having a meal together and chatting about life as husband and wife or simply doing some interesting activities together. Avoid talking about any wedding related matters during these times.
-Attend the free 2 hours marriage preparation course by ROM when you register for your marriage. Trust me, it's helpful.

6) The timeline for the wedding schedule
-Sometimes we think I just need to pluck one template off the internet, change a few words here and there and that's my wedding schedule! Well, you are only 50% right. Every wedding is same same yet different at the same time.
-Our schedule has been done up about 1 month ago. Till date, we are still adjusting and adjusting the timings to make sure everything fits.

My self-proclaimed strategy:
-Take some time off for yourself. Imagine and run through the wedding program on the day inside your brain. Check it against the schedule which you have done up.
-Counter check your schedule together with your wedding vendors to ensure it is done up realistically.

I will like to share this very apt phrase which my cousin sent to me a few weeks back.
"Keep Calm. 
It's Only A Wedding."

Every mistake will be a good old funny memory
when we look back at it again.
GIF from giphy.com

2 more weeks to go!

Mrs-To-Be OOPS


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