What Your Guests Think About Your Wedding Costs?

Merry Christmas and an early Happy New Year to everyone!

Wedding costs are high in Singapore. We have enough articles to prove that already so I shan't continue dwelling on this issue.

I always like to bring back the topic of affordability into wedding preparation. And particularly in Singapore context, the one major headache for most couples is WEDDING COSTS. Don't belittle it. This can potentially cause a huge conflict between your partner and yourself, or even your in-laws.

AS A GUEST,
You will probably be struggling with your family's monthly expenses. There may be some indulgence here and there but at least things are enough to cover. When wedding invitations start flooding in, we will probably be frustrated about attending a wedding. The intensity of such frustrations increases when the "costs of attending the wedding" is high. Maybe there will even be thoughts like "Can't you just forget about me? I'm really ok for you not to invite me." This kind of reminds me of the post which I did about potential guests. Click HERE to find out more.



AS A HOST,
You probably won't realise it. If you want the wedding of your dreams, just having the wedding banquet costs in mind is just NOT enough. You are just about to face with many many high expenses of engaging various vendors for various stuff. (gowns, gifts, make up, camera man etc.) Never underestimate the overwhelming sum which your small expenses can sum up too. 

The rule of thumb for wedding banquets is to be realistic. Praying and hoping that your expenses will be fully covered by the ang pow which your guests are giving you is not going to work. You need to be realistic! That would mean getting something within your means, especially when both yourself and your husband are struggling financially with minimal savings.

Afterall, you don't want to end up like this after your big day is over.


My state now: 
I'm currently alternating regularly between being a guest and being a host. As much as Mr OOPS and I are saving hard for our wedding, we are also spending lots when attending weddings. SOBS. That struggle is tough! Basically the people around us who are also in their twenties are either in the same stage as us, planning for their wedding or they have already started paying for their houses. Therefore, I also foresee them going through the same struggles as I do.

My personal take is that as a host, we should not neglect the people you are inviting to your wedding. Because, it basically defeats the purpose if your guests are already resenting about attending your wedding right from the start. Therefore, understanding your guests and their concerns about attending your wedding is very very important.

I was googling around and started gathering these different articles which I think is helpful!

(FIRST)

View full article at STOMP

 I decided to cut out some of the comments from this article. There are some more.... in the original article.



(SECOND) 

Then I remember this rather notorious news that came out in 7/2/2013, whereby one host actually send a facebook message to one of her guests who supposedly gave $100 ang pow for her boyfriend and herself.

View full article from Huffington Post

Quoting what the bride's friend has posted:
Last weekend I attended a wedding of a not-close friend with my boyfriend and as a gift we gave $100 cash. This was generous considering my financial situation. I just finished university with $40,000 in student loans, and have only found part time (12-18 hrs per week) minimum wage work. I gave as much as I could and attended to show my support.Today I received a rude and condescending message from the bride via Facebook messenger: "Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike's and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc and didn't expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you'll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything."It's infuriating that she had the nerve to make assumptions about my finances, and assume that I or my boyfriend had an extra $400 lying around. Those $100 were hard-earned and she didn't show an ounce of gratitude for what she did receive. That money didn't grow on a tree. If she had a minimum gift requirement, she should have specified it...or asked everyone for income statements before inviting them."
And of course, she obviously earned her spot on STOMP too.

View full article from STOMP

My take on this article:
I wonder what actually prompted this bride to question her guest on how much they are giving. So I'm GUESSING it may be due to various factors. 
  • Her hubby and her are currently in a huge debt because the total angpow amount which they received is a massive deficit compared to the overall costs. That thought alone is already stressful and she ended up venting on someone, and it so happens it's this friend of hers.
  • She probably has expectations on how much this particular couple could afford. Assumptions...
  • I'm guessing from the above paragraph that they are probably not very close friends and thus not understanding of each other's situation.
However I won't be too quick to lash on the bride. As a guest, if you really foresee that you have financial challenges and is struggling with attending a wedding, you still have a choice ahead when the couple gets you to RSVP.
  • You can choose not to attend the wedding. And instead, send a wedding gift or ang pow together with your blessings for the couple.
  • You can choose not to go as a couple. That helps to save costs too.

(THIRD)


View full article at Yahoo

The most recent article at Yahoo is probably a real wake up call for people looking towards your "dream" wedding.

(LAST)

The last one is from my most loved SGAG. I always love how they put reality into simple illustrations that we all resonate with upon viewing.

View photo from Facebook SGAG

And here are some of the comments from our fellow Singaporeans...  I cut out some of the few which get more likes for our viewing.


Ok! And that's it. You heard your guests... Now you make your choices on your wedding planning or wedding attendance.

Meanwhile, I'll be going on a vacation to Korea for a winter countdown to year 2015.

Cheers,
Mrs To-Be OOPS

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