So he proposed.... And I agreed!...Now what's next?

This is always the big big question that's lingering in all BTB's minds. Of course, I'm no exception!

Oh yes, if you're wondering BTB = Bride To Be , and HTB = Husband To Be. You will often see these 2 acronyms largely used in alot of wedding forums, wedding blogs and pages as well.

Back to the question, so what's next?

Let me share my experience...

Upon the proposal, I'm an excited beanie, ready and excited to move towards marriage life. Suddenly all the fairy tale stories, romantic and dreamy wedding scenes and the magical wedding images starts popping all over my brain! I'm TOTALLY READY to prepare for my own wedding. In fact, I am a little bit panicky about how do I go about and who can I consult for help etc. I started googling for information and even created accounts on different wedding forums. I spent my everyday after work googling for banquet prices and reading various blogs. Almost 80% of my messages to my dear Mr OOPS is nothing but about the wedding. I'm just CRAZY!

But the fact is....

My Mr OOPS is totally at a very different league from me. He spent months and months saving, preparing, anticipating and executing the proposal plan in HongKong. So for the first month of our proposal, he's just totally submerged in the feeling of being engaged. He was not really super keen or excited about joining me in the whole planning process. Each time I brings it up, he will just smile, nod and move on to talk about other things. He spends more time talking about the proposal day and reminiscing the joy we had together. I can't deny, that seriously frustrates me! It finally come to a point whereby I questioned him upfront about his nonchalance and if he is even ready for marriage.

I actually took some time before I mustered enough courage to bring up my unhappiness to my fiance about his attitude. It's not easy but I'm glad I did. He was very open to hear me out and express his honest opinions. In fact, we both grew closer through this little experience. We agreed on taking things slightly slower on my side and slightly faster on his side... until the point we come to a consensus.

My little advice for all BTB: Give your HTB more time to enjoy the engagement. I'm sure he's interested to plan your big day together with you. If you are just like me, do remember, you just need to slow yourself down.

Here's what you can do!
1) Sit down with your HTB and first talk about when is your intended year of wedding.
2) Before going into the details of the marriage, explored about your individual's perception towards marriage and wedding.
3) Share with each other your knowledge and understanding about a wedding ceremony. Or maybe your experience in attending or being involved in a wedding and how it has impacted you.
4) Come to a common understanding about what is the kind or type of wedding you both want.
5) Decide on a year and period which you both want the wedding to be. (Preferably give yourself at least 9 months to 1 year for wedding preparation)

Always remember, it's normal to have differences as a marriage is 2 unique individuals coming together to form a family. Each of us grow up in different families and have different perceptions towards certain issues. So it's always good to start the conversation with our expectations and managing those different expectations together. ^^

One perfect phrase: Keep Calm And Get Married =)

Image from Boomerstt.com

Cheers,
Mrs To-Be OOPS

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